CULTURE
Op-ed:
Lexapro, Leopard Print, and “Acting Like A Lady”
By: Elliana Gallagi, Senior Writer Edited by: Alexa Fabi
Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to grow up. I longed to fit into my mother’s heels and wear her long pearl necklaces and her sophisticated watches. I wanted to hang out with my older sister’s friends and paint my nails with them. I wanted to run before I knew how to walk. Now that I am 19, and as I reach my last year as a teenager, I wish I could sink into my mom’s shoes again and put my ear up to my sister’s room, taking a peek into the future. But, I can’t go back, so I might as well step forward. I am now in my first semester as a Sophomore here at Syracuse University and I can finally say that I am enjoying college. I understand why people call this place “home.” But between you and me, that might have to do with the help of a very well-known friend: Lexapro.
For the past couple of months, I dealt with the extremities of anxiety, from nausea to nervousness. I knew something was wrong, but I was unsure how to express this without feeling judged. I fell back into my old ways and hid from the truth I knew I felt. While I understood I was not alone, I couldn’t help but feel lonely most of the time. With the support of my family and friends, I was able to get the help I needed and found a solution. I never considered myself as someone who needed medication, but… here we are. Before, I found comfort in not knowing who I was and carving out a hole to hide in, scared to be myself, scared to try. Now, this is me trying.
I am currently on my 19th journey of rediscovery and that’s okay. I am someone who believes in the act of rebirth through fashion, makeup, and self. As women, we are supposed to always act the “right way;” to always stand out, but not “be too much.” I was afraid that once I was medicated, I would fall into the societal norms of how a woman is “supposed” to act. “Acting like a lady” is a subjective, offensive, and false narrative placed on women, many of whom defy these standards. I am myself. I am medicated. And there is nothing wrong with that. I will continue to wear my hair down, speak up, and wear the prints we all love so much. From polka dots, to sequins, to needlepoint designs, the prints we wear connect with certain ideas we want to portray. Whether that is out of admiration or emotion, prints speak from a place of boldness and sometimes even nostalgia. I’ve been wearing prints since I was a little kid; some days it was pink stripes, other days, the red, white, and blue Old Navy flip-flops that would never leave my feet. Now, I, like others, have found myself coming back to certain prints that remind me of my own childhood wardrobe.
As seen on TikTok, Instagram, and Pinterest, the revival of leopard appreciation is back and better than ever. However, for me, it has always been here, being a neutral in my closet ever since I paired it with red and gold accents. But why now? Why is the leopard replacing the bow epidemic? As most good things do, trends tend to have their moment for a couple of weeks and then die out. Like bleached eyebrows, crochet tops, Y2K, and even cottage core, these trends have given our generation the chance to find ourselves through other wardrobes and Pinterest boards. I have always been attracted to loud prints and layering with dark colors. However, for a long time, I thought I had to follow these restrictive trends to be accepted and seen as “cool,” blending in but simultaneously making a point to be different. If everyone was seen mixing and matching prints and colors, they would be perceived as a walking headache. Women are expected to be seen in a traditional, “feminine” outfit. But what makes an outfit feminine? We are constantly surrounded by the portrayal of femininity in television, film, and even the books we would read before bedtime. We were expected to be the damsel in distress rather than the hero. All of these pressures can lead women to feel invisible. Why as women do we feel the need to conform to what seems acceptable, even if it makes us miserable inside?
I felt embarrassed and guilty for expressing myself through big accessories and chaotic makeup looks because I was scared of what others would think of me. This caused a great amount of anxiety and harm to my well-being. Yet, this was and is normal for girls struggling to find their identity – a struggle to look in the mirror and feel happy with the reflection that looks back at them. In a society that is driven by digital influences and faulty images, it’s hard to realize what works for someone when they find it difficult to even recognize themself. But, these moments are temporary. These feelings of hopelessness and faking it will soon vanish. I found myself through taking risks and foregoing the unwanted opinions of others. I found myself, I lost her again, and now she is back. I wear faux leopard fur, I wear big hoops, and I have long nails, but most importantly, I can be who I want, when I want, and how I want.
There is no right way when it comes to finding yourself. Whether that is through skin care, cooking, running, or even medication, how YOU do it shouldn’t matter to anyone else but you. After being diagnosed with “Generalized Anxiety Disorder,” I was scared of what that meant for me. Will I change? Will my friends want to be around me? Yet, as I came to terms with my truth and accepted it, I became more comfortable with the idea that this is normal and that I am not alone. I reclaimed myself and what I want to achieve. I am not ashamed of being someone who is medicated. Although circumstances are different for everyone, it is important, especially in college, that we take care of ourselves and remind ourselves that this is for the better.
I will always have anxiety, and I may go through more downs than ups, but I know with the support of my family and friends, I am capable of more than I know. So are you.
